So, yeah... I got off of Facebook last week, but in a larger sense, I feel like I've been doing this kind of thing for my entire life... going along with the flow... trying to find my place in group action... working towards what I hope and believe will be positive... running into something that seems to be a contradiction to the general flow... attempting to point out the seeming discrepancy... having cursory agreement from others, but usually in service of saying, "Huh... well, I guess that's the exception that proves the rule." *... then noticing that, especially if the discrepancy keeps cropping up, either folks ignore it, or they get disgusted and walk away from the entire premise, and still... I find that if I'm interested but want to find out why the discrepancy popped up and continues to, and also, what the quality and indication of that discrepancy might be, I get a great wave of resistance among my fellow travelers.... usually indicating to me that we've moved from one cloying mode of dogmatic "orthodoxy" to another emerging form of what is also becoming its own form of dogmatic "orthodoxy". And then the alarms start going off in my head.
And, then I get sick in my soul, disillusioned, angry, turn into a tale eating Ouroboros, and then I either become mute or explode. Then I go to the wilderness.... not always literally, although often so.... this is the Australian Aboriginal "Walk-About", the time of Jesus in the Desert, Prince Siddhartha's time under the Bo Tree, Rip Van Winkle's nap time........
It's been going on with me for over a half a century this cycle. Observation. Examination. Participation. Testing and Questioning. Discord. Disillusion. A loud or quiet exit, not from the premises, but from the club. From the fashion. From the fad. From the rationalization. From hypocrisy, both in others in that which I find has set in and is taking root in myself.
And, I don't regret any of these.... I do re-run them in my head, over and over and over.... I'm observing it in myself. It also goes on in the world over and over and over. Catholics become Protestants become Methodists become Wesleyans become....??? Jazz kids become Beat kids, become Hippies, become Punks, become Post-Punks, become Emo kids.... ???
It goes on and on and on... and every time someone becomes a disciple, he seeks, finds, loses, finds, loses... builds a franchise... builds a power structure..... Jesus rejects Pharisaic Judaism.... gives his life... Paul gloms onto the teachings of Jesus... builds the church... church is persecuted by Roman Empire... Roman Empire accepts the religion... becomes the religion... the religion is a fun-house mirror version of Pharisaic Judaism writ HUGE. Some individual followers get mute or scream at the top of their lungs. Again, and again, and again... and...
I think that the point of the story is the telling of the tale. This is the Buddha's joyful participation in the sorrows of the world. It's just that when the "joyful" part is gone, the trick is getting it back... the joy... not the sorrow... the sorrow always takes care of itself.
These excerpts from Alan Parker's "Midnight Express" illustrate the universal this process perfectly. And, I recognize that sometimes I'm the Brad Davis Bad Machine in this scenario, and sometimes I'm the yammering skinny British Bad Machine:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW9DxqYtvmU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shlBZZ-IQYY
I'm not saying that everything in existence is like this... but, I often find myself in this abstract... and then I know I need to get off the wheel for a while. So I have the energy to walk again.
*Which, by the way, is an utter pile of bullshit: There are nearly always exceptions to rules. Granted. Of course. However, those exceptions in no way EVER prove the rule. They may not invalidate the rule... that needs to be further explored... but, go into a scientific lab, perform an experiment, and when one instance doesn't go in the same direction of the rest, then tell your fellow scientists that the "Exception proves the rule." They'll laugh you right out the door. Because, in no way does the Exception Ever Prove The Rule. Period.
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